A peek into the mind of Moi
Monday, January 5, 2009
rough draft of Life and Death-incomplete
When you lose someone you love, perhaps it's when you get older, things kinda seem to fall one way, that's when it hits home. There is life, then Life and Death. life : In November, feels like yesterday, Homer passed from cancer, quickly, in a matter of a couple months, almost 2 roughly. One day, he sorta turned weird, hiding under the couch far from reach... always awake pupils dilated. I of course knew something wasn't right I mean, it was Homer... I will never forget this Homer. Because it was Keaton's birthday coming up, and Jody taking the kids camping with Josh, I found myself too busy to bother? I feel horrible saying it but because I neglected him, just thinking he was just sick but knowing deep down he was ill... total denial. Finally I brought him in a week later (he did have a few days of so so in between).. That's when he got sick, had surgery, got sicker, lost SO much weight and finally couldn't survive it despite. we lost him... he was such a special kitty. Because his life ended but his Life was wonderful, we have to accept it. There is life, then Life and Death. We just lost Meme on December 31st 2008. She also died of cancer but suffered much longer. She was someone I adored. She was the only grandmother I knew. She made great beignes, the best bread (I HAVE THE RECIPE!!) she was so sweet. She always had the softest skin and loudest kisses. That's how I kiss my kids... exactly the same way. I just realized that. How great... I feel a little guilty because we left and I didn't really get a chance to know Meme these passed 10 years. My years of major growth in my opinion. I went from being a 'kid' to being an 'adult', a wife and a mother... I have had my setbacks but I have had experiences. I was busy having babies, living my Life but... all the way over here. I of course cherished the times we spoke on the phone, and the visits we tried to get in once a year, but then I am horrible at keeping in touch with people. When you are far away and don't call everyday, it's hard to put yourself "there" Then you don't feel missed..Having a family of my own, looking at the big picture, I finally, FINALLY ask myself: What do you want your Life to be ?When I look at the big picture, what I want my Life to be, it's all that I love. A great warm, comfortable house to call my own, spending time with my boys, enjoying how wonderful they all are, spending time with family, getting to know my family, opening up and experiencing with them, sharing my Life with the people who matter most. The people whom gave me life. Family. I have my family. A husband, 3 boys, 1 cat. Our "unit". Then there is my family and Jody's family. I want to get to know both and most of all, I want my kids to know both sides because we still have a big family. I don't want them to miss out. I missed out of 10+ years of my Memes life, seeing her once a year. I was fortunate to have 20 years with a grandmother two streets down. When I was sick from school, I would go to her house :). She was a great hostess. But I had that. I had my aunt Josie next door, my aunt Jennifer two streets away. An uncle Frank who was always cool (I remember some of his girlfriends) I was fortunate to have cousins here and there and all that fun. I was lucky to have family so close to me. They watched me grow up. They probably have more memories than I do! I know when my sister and brother start having kids... oh boy look out... I'M ALL OVER THAT ONE!! I do have nieces and nephews from Jody, thankfully but they are so far away, I, find myself stuck in a "well, I'm thinking of them and I mean well, I just don't have that great of a connection because we are so far away. AND, it's hard to talk to a kid or even know a kid via phone line. Even when Charlie will call me when I'm out. Honestly, it takes me a few minutes to figure out which of my boys it is! You just don't see them the real way. I do try, when we are there but they're kids, and they are kinda like... 'and you are?'... maybe not. maybe i just see it that way, that could be the insecure part of me (which is HUGE but that's a different matter, and I am totally aware of that one) The fact of the matter is, should we be Kapuskasing bound? This is where it's simple yet so complicated... to be continued...
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
I love my van
Jody started biking to work as soon as we got back from vacation so I could enjoy the driving experience a little more for the summer months. I was tired of climbing into the 'beast', opening all the windows (except for the broken driver's side argh) just to air it out BEFORE we got in. Then to shut them all again when we arrive at our destination. Insulated vans are GREAT for colder weather but for summer cruising... not at all. So I've been really enjoying this van. Which is now MY van. Jody is excited because he is losing a few extra pounds he's put on over the years HAHA and feels great about the bike ride to work and back (except for the boundary hill that kills him?) And it's alot cheaper to run one van, instead of two. Our big bluey died last week anyway, when we took it camping but at least it died on Broadway and it was a matter of hopping on the bike and picking up the silver van. We figure its just the fuel pump and filter which need to be replaced but why bother? We don't NEED two vans if jody is willing to bike everywhere. And he is doing it for all of us. He's a good man. So I guess I just wanted to praise my van and say how much I love it. AND get this... we can still fit a double air mattress in it for camping too! We just have to downsize our camping stuff to fit it all for this weekend, we are headed to Ross Lake. I really LOVE my van.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
GRAEME IS 5
I've left you all messages and Jody has talked to Denise and Allura (hehe) and it's on.
The PLAN
We are taking all three boys to Chilliwack tomorrow morning to the Big Rig Show and Shine so Grae can check out the coolest trucks around. We then drop Charlie off at auntie Amy's and hit the theatre to see Wall-E.
You are all welcome to meet us at either of those events, please call to confirm timing if you will, we will be up and at them by 9 I figure, my cell is charged.
Afterwards, we will head back home to prepare a nice BBQ for our friends to enjoy with us, along with some cake i am about to ice. It's a flat nose box trailer transport, hopefully blue in colour since the 'man' himself is showing to be VERY particular about the design. Guess he can't really grasp that it will be a cake and not a toy.
We hope to see you tomorrow, and it's understood if you cannot make it on such short notice, we tend to do that so i apologize but um.. it will happen forever. I like to let the kid decide what he wants to do on his day even though they are so little and well, clueless like their parents. It took him a week to say "My cake better be big enough for all my friends" Alright then... Nothing fancy, no goody bags or anything because as usual, i am unprepared.
YAY GRAEME IS 5? Oh God
Friday, July 4, 2008
Tomorrow's the BIG day
So Graeme turns 5 tomorrow. The kid is so cute lately. For the passed few days, all he's been doing is sighing. I'm like, "hey why do you keep sighing, do you feel ok?" And he says "*sigh* yeah, i just want to turn 5." I say "what do you want to do for your birthday? Do you want a party? Invite your friends somewhere?" And he says "Nope, I just want to be 5"
At first we were going camping in a cabin on Peter Hope Lake but then we ran out of time to do our present shopping and I still have to figure out a cake for him and Jody is working this morning too. He works too much. So we thought the Big Rig Show and Shine would be perfect because all he does is talk about his transports. Also, it's in Chilliwack so on the way home we could go to Dino Town, also somewhere he always comments on when we drive by. I guess we'll see what the weekend brings and what he really wants to do for his Birthday. Let me ask him again, just to be sure he didn't change his mind "Grae, what do you want to do for your Birthday?" "I wanna go camping!" and Keaton says "For my Birthday I wanna stay in a Hotel!" LOL Ok, so I guess we'll maybe go camping? WHAT? I am NOT prepared. We have no camper van and the bullet can't really hold all of our camping stuff, hense the cabin idea. Hmmm... I'm gonna have some coffee and ponder. The Big Rig show would be a cool surprise, but yawn boring for me... but it's about the kid and him enjoying his day to the fullest...I get to figure out a cool cake.
So, be prepared for a last minute invite to our house for cake and presents tomorrow...If you know us well enough, we fly by the seat of our pants and happy to live that way. I'll post more on this later. I hope you all care enough to read, but Denise is the only one who comments? Tanks Neece
At first we were going camping in a cabin on Peter Hope Lake but then we ran out of time to do our present shopping and I still have to figure out a cake for him and Jody is working this morning too. He works too much. So we thought the Big Rig Show and Shine would be perfect because all he does is talk about his transports. Also, it's in Chilliwack so on the way home we could go to Dino Town, also somewhere he always comments on when we drive by. I guess we'll see what the weekend brings and what he really wants to do for his Birthday. Let me ask him again, just to be sure he didn't change his mind "Grae, what do you want to do for your Birthday?" "I wanna go camping!" and Keaton says "For my Birthday I wanna stay in a Hotel!" LOL Ok, so I guess we'll maybe go camping? WHAT? I am NOT prepared. We have no camper van and the bullet can't really hold all of our camping stuff, hense the cabin idea. Hmmm... I'm gonna have some coffee and ponder. The Big Rig show would be a cool surprise, but yawn boring for me... but it's about the kid and him enjoying his day to the fullest...I get to figure out a cool cake.
So, be prepared for a last minute invite to our house for cake and presents tomorrow...If you know us well enough, we fly by the seat of our pants and happy to live that way. I'll post more on this later. I hope you all care enough to read, but Denise is the only one who comments? Tanks Neece
so perty
i really like this new page lookin' template stuff.. i think it's darn perty. i hope you enjoy, it's got kind of a calming effect for me, man... I NEED IT TODAY! my kids are starting to annoy me... but... they want to help with the dressing room idear
ON WITH THE SHOW? let's see how far we get
ON WITH THE SHOW? let's see how far we get
Feeling dreary
I have a stiff neck, cramps and am feeling somewhat listless myself today. UGH. I don't know what to do either.. the sun isn't shining and there is a slight drizzle coating the ground with moisture. I am yet to dress myself or the kids, the dishes still need to be unloaded only to reload. The rest of the house is in a good state i suppose, except for that awful spare bedroom... soon to be a dressing room. I think it's a great idea! And i asked Jody yesterday what he thought and he was half asleep but he nodded. Maybe i'll start hauling things outta the room downstairs. I have no energy. I will probably end up laying on the floor... hmmm...
At the moment, the boys are eating strawberries that we picked last night. They are so juicy...oh no, Graeme says hes bored and Keaton just gagged on banana... when did he grab a banana? I must be that out of it... "Watch a movie!" I am blogging here... and I feel a headache coming on, time for coffee
At the moment, the boys are eating strawberries that we picked last night. They are so juicy...oh no, Graeme says hes bored and Keaton just gagged on banana... when did he grab a banana? I must be that out of it... "Watch a movie!" I am blogging here... and I feel a headache coming on, time for coffee
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Gettin' used to it?
This Blogging thing is still feeling a little weird to me. Jody went to work so I have nobody to talk to and figured i would blog. i was trying to think of something to blog about but then i realize my blogs will be the same almost everyday when nothing exciting happens. Unless just the day itself will be excitement enough. What we did today was...
Got up at 8, made breakfast, the boys wanted cereal and strawberries so simple enough, pour the cereal, Keaton has a sore stomach, i send him to the bathroom within 2 seconds he hollers "MooOoOM!" and i know somethin' ain't right and sprint to the bathroom like a gazelle, I'm telling you! and grab the kiddie step, flip it upside down to have him upchuck draite dedans. Poor kid. He still ate breakfast afterwards so who knows.I talked to Kendall for a while on the phone then she hung up on me. So... we played outside after that. The pool has a slow leak so i needed to add water so i put the hose in. We went to the market for fruit and veggies and over to Safeway and cobs for a few other things and got back home. Graeme got hot hauling some groceries (the bread and cereal HAHA) and asked to go in the pool... SHIIIIIIIIIT!!!! Yep, there was a flood in the yard... pool overflowing... my bad. Charlie got tired and put himself to bed again LOL. he always tells me he's going but its when I'm busy but i say I'm coming...he has no patience. Love him.. that gave us time to empty bucket after bucket of water until there was just the right amount for a swim. I LOVE MY POOL. Keaton was a little listless so he was lying on the couch NOT watching TV since its been Idled for the summer :(I started getting a baaaaad headache, slowly making me alarmed that it was a migraine and sure enough the nausea hit and i was incapacitated for only 20 odd minutes. Blind and not moving a muscle. Soon enough, Charlie woke up so I did too. I had some coffee and made awesome Greek supper, cut up a roast into kabobs, had some baby nugget potatoes and grilled eggplant, a beautiful tomato salad with tzatziki and pita so goooooood. I sometimes agree that I CAN COOK cause dang baby... getting the munchies over here... Jody got home right before supper was served, we ate, we went for a walk to the straight park and beyond. We would usually go for a bike ride but Jody biked to and from work today. It hurt him.. and now he's working too, hence the blog... so to end it, we went to the park, came home, had a bath, a cleanup (which they now do for money? Jody?)story and bed... then break then blog. This was today... whats in store for tomorrow??
Got up at 8, made breakfast, the boys wanted cereal and strawberries so simple enough, pour the cereal, Keaton has a sore stomach, i send him to the bathroom within 2 seconds he hollers "MooOoOM!" and i know somethin' ain't right and sprint to the bathroom like a gazelle, I'm telling you! and grab the kiddie step, flip it upside down to have him upchuck draite dedans. Poor kid. He still ate breakfast afterwards so who knows.I talked to Kendall for a while on the phone then she hung up on me. So... we played outside after that. The pool has a slow leak so i needed to add water so i put the hose in. We went to the market for fruit and veggies and over to Safeway and cobs for a few other things and got back home. Graeme got hot hauling some groceries (the bread and cereal HAHA) and asked to go in the pool... SHIIIIIIIIIT!!!! Yep, there was a flood in the yard... pool overflowing... my bad. Charlie got tired and put himself to bed again LOL. he always tells me he's going but its when I'm busy but i say I'm coming...he has no patience. Love him.. that gave us time to empty bucket after bucket of water until there was just the right amount for a swim. I LOVE MY POOL. Keaton was a little listless so he was lying on the couch NOT watching TV since its been Idled for the summer :(I started getting a baaaaad headache, slowly making me alarmed that it was a migraine and sure enough the nausea hit and i was incapacitated for only 20 odd minutes. Blind and not moving a muscle. Soon enough, Charlie woke up so I did too. I had some coffee and made awesome Greek supper, cut up a roast into kabobs, had some baby nugget potatoes and grilled eggplant, a beautiful tomato salad with tzatziki and pita so goooooood. I sometimes agree that I CAN COOK cause dang baby... getting the munchies over here... Jody got home right before supper was served, we ate, we went for a walk to the straight park and beyond. We would usually go for a bike ride but Jody biked to and from work today. It hurt him.. and now he's working too, hence the blog... so to end it, we went to the park, came home, had a bath, a cleanup (which they now do for money? Jody?)story and bed... then break then blog. This was today... whats in store for tomorrow??
